Church Chat

Friday, February 10, 2006

Where Do I Begin?

This is so tough. I’m writing this with a heavy heart that can only be lifted by the hands of God. I’ve been asking a lot of friends and family for prayer, and I know that’s helping. I’m not being over dramatic about my cold, something much more terrible has happened that I don’t care to reveal online. There has been a tragedy in my family that I never thought would happen, but I know this world is a mess. I can’t fix it. I can only pray and hope God will heal. I know He will, and I have comfort just because of the knowledge of God and His power in ALL things. I know He will mend this whole situation with time and His care. I pray, also, that the party involved does not lose faith. I hope and pray that because of this, they don’t find themselves secluded within and stay in their pain. I hurt for my family member. I wish I could fix it or make it so they never would have had to experience this kind of trauma. My heart aches. I know some of their pain simply because I’ve been there, too. No, not to the full extent, but I know how it feels to be used and mistreated by someone you should be able to trust. It’s devastating and dirty. I cannot pretend to know exactly how my family member feels. I don’t even want to try. What I do want to do is be there whenever I’m needed. I want to pray hard and see the healing. I want to forgive, even though I know that’s probably the hardest thing anyone could think of doing right now. Forgiveness. What a word! How painful! To be utterly humiliated and torn apart by another person is hard enough to take, but to then forgive them for their actions? I know it’s right, and I know it’s what Jesus would/did do for all of us. How humbling! Jesus took on so much humiliation and pain for our benefit, and yet, He still loved and forgave us! One of my favorite pieces of scripture is Jeremiah 29:11, which says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. It wasn’t in God’s plans for my family member to be treated so poorly, but it happened. I don’t know why, and I will not pretend to know the answers. I am afraid the questions will come up as to why God allowed it to happen, and I know how to answer it. It may not be a huge comfort at first, but I know, down the road, it may help. I was reading in Romans 12 today for a student devotion I’m leading tomorrow morning, and that chapter not only gave me comfort, but it smacked me across the face. Romans 12:9-21 talks about love in difficult situations. This particular scripture talks about the kind of love Jesus shows to us when times are hard, when being persecuted, and when afflicted. The last verse is what hit me the hardest. It says (vs. 21) “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”. I started to cry as I stared at that verse in the solitude of my church office. So badly, I wanted to hurt the person that afflicted pain on my family. So badly, I wanted to take matters into my own hands. So badly, my human nature wanted to take over. God, once again, came in and took over my heart and began the healing process for me. I don’t know where He needs to begin with my family member, but I’m more than sure He has. I know that by prayer, fasting, reading of the scripture, I can find comfort. I pray, they too, find comfort in God’s always-open arms. The thing that I am most afraid of is the loss of faith. I don’t want that to happen. I pray that it doesn’t happen. God knows more than me, so I shouldn’t worry…Matthew 6:34 “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. That has been my life verse since the beginning of my life with the Lord. Crazy, it keeps reappearing!! I know that not everyone knows about what I’m talking about in this blog, but please know that prayer is the support I and my family desperately need right now. God bless you, and may His comfort be upon you and yours.


At 12:42 PM, Blogger Brooke said...

You and your family are definately in my prayers.


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