Church Chat

Friday, February 17, 2006

What A Week!!!

So, things have been tough all the way around lately. I can’t complain, because I know God has everything under control, but my oh my, things have been tough. I really just want to sleep in a nice warm place after a nice hot bath, just before a nice long massage. Sound good? Oh yes. So any way, this is what has happened. I’ve been on the upside of being sick, and that’s great. At the beginning of the week, I still sounded like a baritone, but slowly I went from that to tenor, all the way back up to my 3 and a half octave range. Yaya!!! So, after that is when it got rough. I’ve been reading this book called “Do You Think I’m Beautiful”, by Angela Thomas. It’s wonderful, and it’s more than an encouragement kind of book. It’s a book that will tear you apart, throw you around, beat you until you’re black n’ blue, and then tell you what you’ve needed to hear all your life. There’s a part in there that I am kind of stuck on right now. It goes a little something like this…

Will You Rescue Me?
…We (women) are applauded for enduring great difficulty alone. We call women who don’t need help “superwomen” and set them apart as inspirational. …As for many of us it seems to make sense to just do it yourself. A few relational disappointments can teach us painfully and quickly that no one is coming to the rescue. Oh, they may show up but then not stay. Or they may show up and stay but make you wish they would hurry up and leave. So get tough. Try not to depend on anyone or long for someone to carry you away. Heroes that save the girl are for adventure stories and blockbuster movies. Stop daydreaming and learn how to save yourself. Yeah, it makes sense sometimes, especially if your heart is numb.

Do you remember the day when you realized that you have to be the grown-up? I still catch myself thinking, how did this happen? …I have to remember to have the oil changed in the car. No one else is going to clean out the gutters except me. I have to be the grown-up. No one is coming to rescue me.

Grown-up women may be tough and able, but I don’t know a woman who underneath the steel veneer wouldn’t love to be fought for…rescued…swept away…safe…protected. Psalm 34

Wow, let me tell you, that didn’t hit me until last night how true that really is. You see, the power went out in my house due to a massive ice thunderstorm that blew through. Kari and I immediately started lighting every candle we could find, we brought in the kerosene heater from the porch after filling it, and we bundled up. Today, we managed to get some water-filled bottles to bring home to flush toilets, and do dishes. We managed to make sure our house didn’t freeze up, and we had a plan for the pipes under the house and in the pump house to prevent them from freezing. Before this ice storm, she and I both managed very well as single women living in a house in the woods with no real problems. I haul wood from the woods, cut the grass, I know how to listen to a vehicle to tell if something’s wrong and I usually know what that something is. I can survive on my own with no problems. It’s really a cool thing, and I know my parents are very proud of me (and so is Kari’s parents because she and I are a lot alike in this way). It’s great that we are so self sufficient, but sometimes it’s hard at the same time. That section of that book that I typed out was kind of tough to take because I am so that. I’m tough and very independent. Other women have asked why I would even think about wanting to marry or even date if I can do so much on my own. Why is that so hard for anyone to understand? I am just as soft as those other gals that feel flirting and playing the “damsel in distress” is the only way to meet men. I don’t feel that’s necessary. I can flirt, there’s no problem there at all, but I don’t go overboard with it. Ah, I don’t know. Today I cried to myself when I found out the power had returned to our house. I was so relieved and thankful to God that He gave me this answer. I know He rescued me and He always does. I came to him in my time of distress, true distress, and He lightened the load tremendously. Someday, I know I will be pursued, but the wait can get so irritatingly frustrating! Any way, that’s what I’ve been feeling; kind of stuck, alone with no help, but God rescues. I also know that someday my husband to be will come out of hiding and chase after me, but until then, I’m alright. I’m more than alright. God is good, and He is my rescue.


At 11:45 PM, Blogger April said...

you are so right...we cant depend on anyone else, so we have to do it ourself. but oh how i long for someone to take care of me. someone to hold me, and to actually feel ok having someone do that for me. it sounds so foreign and wonderful at the same time. how sad. i have spent my entire life unwilling to share burdens, never wanting someone else to see my pain. but im tired of that. God always does come to our rescue - but i dont know that i always recognize him. i want to have your joy and assurance...u are amazing!


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