Church Chat

Monday, January 16, 2006

Sunday Morning Sunrise

Sunday Morning Sunrise

Today was just gorgeous. I got to see the sunrise, and normally that isn’t something I’m all that happy about. It was so beautiful and it started my day off just right. The air was crisp, the birds were singing, and the colors in the sky were perfect. Creation was singing God’s praises. What a great way to start a Sunday morning service! The whole service was great, too. I felt God’s hand on every part of it, and I know the congregation did, too. It was evident that God had something to say to each one of us and He wasn’t holding anything back. It was quite encouraging to be in that room and quite an honor just the same. To feel completely empty of myself after leading worship is an experience that I have no words that could even try to express properly. I can only use “phenomenal” and that doesn’t do it justice.

I want to say thanks to my good friends that have been encouraging me lately. You haven’t a clue as to how much I’ve needed it lately. I’ve been down, but I wasn’t sure as to why. I realized today that it had/has so much to do with the fact that I miss having someone close by that I can relate to at all times. I miss my best friend so much that it hurts, and I didn’t know how bad it was affecting me until now. I knew I missed her, but it became even clearer to me recently. I miss having her near by when I need council, or when she needs someone to listen. I miss bashing men and eating chocolate afterwards while watching some sappy crappy movie and wishing we had one of those men we were just tearing apart. I just miss her so much and it hurts that she’s so far away. She’s like my twin sister in some ways. I’m also lonely for my future husband, but I know he’s out there around the corner somewhere. I also know right where my best friend is, and that’s hard because I can’t go and be where she is because it’s too expensive to jump on a plane every time I need a hug. I’ve needed a lot of hugs lately, and she always knows. Another wonderful person that’s good at that is my mom, and I haven’t heard from her in a while either. I’m not ashamed to say that I miss my mommy, dang it!!! Any who, that’s a lot of it. I know things will get better, and I know that God is right there with me through it all. I have His joy even when I’m sad. I’m not really sad right now, I just think I’ve hit another “spiritual growth spurt” and I’m feeling the pains. I actually feel quite good about things.

I spent a lot of time journaling this evening after I finished up with my youth. I came home, but decided that I really needed some time to reflect on the evening before going home. I knew I wouldn’t do any of it if I stayed in my house, so I went to a restaurant that I knew would be open late and I journaled 4 pages worth. It felt great. I feel ready to rest now. I’ve still got some things I need to work through, but I know I’m not alone in this. I know I have good friends, family, and church all given to me by God. In my pursuit of answers, I would ask if anyone who reads this would pray for me. Mom, I don’t want you to worry about me, cause I know you do. I’m more than alright, I just am digging deep within myself right now and I know things will be ok. God is good all the time, and all the time, GOD IS GOOD!!!!!


At 12:49 AM, Blogger April said...

ok - im crying - and i miss you too - and it hurts - and i really need a hug - and im down too...but i know you are having fun in port huron so that lessens the pain a little bit...come see me!


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