Church Chat

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Goodnight Elizabeth

One of my favorite songs to listen to when I'm down or just not feeling well is "Goodnight Elizabeth" by the Counting Crows. Today, my appreciation for that song is very strong. My heart has been guarded for so long and I miss the security of its walls. Sometimes things just happen when you least expect them to. I will survive eventhough right now it doesn't feel like it. This weekend was a rough one. My grandma ended up in the hospital and I didn't know what was going to happen to her. I was told to go home if I wanted her to actually know me when I saw her. I did. I left the night I got the call and Steven went with me. She wasn't doing so well that night, and I went up Saturday to see her in the hospital hoping that a good night's rest would help her some. She went home on Monday from the hospital, so that was an answer to prayer. Steve and I left late Saturday night. I was so glad that he came with me, but something was not right with him. I could feel it. Well, he broke up with me on Monday and told me that he's uncomfortable around me now, doesn't miss me when he's gone, and doesn't love me anymore. I heard the "I love you like a friend" speech, and that was just great. I felt wonderful! Not really. This is the hardest thing my heart has ever had to heal from. I loved him so much, but again, it was a one-way street. This short journal entry has taken me two days to write because I couldn't find the right words to say without breaking down again. Goodnight Elizabeth is a good song...

2 Comments:

At 5:39 PM, Blogger Brooke said...

Shanny, know that you are loved by so many people. When things like this happen, it's hard to find comfort in that, but it's true. I wish I could stop your pain. I love you.

 
At 5:45 PM, Blogger April said...

I miss you so much sweetie! And I am so sorry! But I do want you to remember that it WASNT a one-way street. He cared for you too - remember he is the one who started it all. All the problem that exists is with him and him only. God has a different and wonderful plan for you and part of it was this experience. You dont know yet what for, but Im sure things will be clear someday. And you never know how great your affect in his life has been. I am sure it was tremendous. I love you!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home